The Details
The night began with the EMT class going over some patient assessment stuff. They'd been over it once already, and remembered it pretty remarkably well. Satisfied that we aren't total screwups, Jordan and I loaded them up into cars, and we were off for our field trip to communications. I almost asked everyone if they'd remembered to get their permission slips signed.
A 20 minute caravan later, we arrive at Emergency Management, and head inside to the training room. SuperJew, my boss/mentor/really cool guy is here tonight, and he gives a quick talk about the monitor, basically letting them see some of the cool toys we get to play with. At one point he mentions that he just got back from a conference for medical directors and emergency managers called "Gathering of the Eagles". EMcNasty (formerly known as E) gains ultimate cool points by asking if it was "Gathering of the Bald Eagles". She doesn't say it loudly enough for SuperJew to hear it, so I have to repeat it loudly. This is a good moment.
The mole queen comes upstairs to talk about telecommunications. She's the mole queen because she's in charge of the mole people, the telecommunicators who work downstairs answering 911 calls and dispatching units, and only rarely see the light of day. She tells the class about all the things they do, and we head downstairs to the communications center.
30 minutes later, after looking at a lot of equipment, and hearing some radio traffic, we're done, and back on the road. We head back to the B-School parking lot, where it doesn't take us long to decide that there's some drinking to be done tonight.
Several of us agree to meet at TopO in about 30 minutes, as several of the ladies, plus Jordan, have to change before we go out. I head to Burger King, because I'm hungry, and not interested in paying $12 for some food at TopO. Jordan changes his shirt and meets me there, and we enjoy some greasy pre-beer food.
We drive up to the Church St. lot, and after parking, head in to TopO. It's now 10pm, and I realize that if I want to avoid being a slobbering mess by midnight, I need to not start drinking now. I order a water, and sit down with Jordan, EMcNasty, and GIKD, who needs a better name than that, since we haven't been out since she got that moniker. It'll work for now though.
They make it through rounds one and two, and we're having a good night. I'm goaded into telling an embarassing story or two, but there's embarassment enough to go around on this night. After we're joined by Pepper, another girl from the class, I decide that 11pm is late enough for me to start drinking, and I go pay $4 for a beer that tastes a helluva lot like Bud Light, but supposedly isn't.
*Edit* I caught flack from Pepper because I left her out of the story. Not true if you read the above paragraph, but here's another mention for you. She came in with a friend named Kenan. That's about all I got. Most of the time she was there was spent doing the things listed in the next paragraph. Sorry Pep, but you're likely to make many, many, more stories if my plans hold up.
GIKD decides she wants a cigarette, and offers me one, but I'm nowhere near drunk enough for that. I do agree to go sit with her while she indulges though. When she's done and we make it back inside, everyone pretty much agrees that we're done with overpriced drinks, and we gather ourselves for a jaunt to another bar.
We make our way to Yeats, and once inside, immediately realize that we've made a terrible mistake.
It's apparently been taken over by pirates for the evening. There's a mixer going on inside, and we just don't belong. Undaunted though, we head to the bar for a round. On the way there I turn to Jordan, because there's something bothering me.
Me- "When did all the sorority girls here turn into fat, ugly, cows?"
J- "I don't know man. What's going on?"
Me- "I think this is an event for Fattie Alpha Tau. Aren't they a sorority?"
J- "Yeah man, that's even a greek letter. Fattie. Haha."
Jordan thinks I'm funny when he's drunk.
Officially stuck in the middle of Greek hell, we decide to numb the pain with pitchers. I buy the first one, and we manage to snag a table almost instantly when some of the fatties (I swear one even had a real peg-leg) waddle to the dance floor to rub against one another in some kind of repressed lesbian fantasy, while the guys around the bar try to block out the image so we can still enjoy girl-on-girl internet porn.
We're halfway through the first pitcher when GIKD gets a call from other friend's who are celebrating a birthday, and leaves us for Bub's. I am incredibly okay with this. My "fuck it all" attitude is working out great.
GIKD is replaced at our table by another girl from the class, who's generally nice, but makes me kind of mad when her first comment of the night is:
Girl- "Ya'll aren't supposed to be here..." (she says this quietly, like she's letting me in on a secret.)
Me- "Why's that?"
Girl- "Because you're not Chi-Psi! This is a mixer for Chi-Psi's and Pi-Phi's!"
Me- "On the list of 'Shit I don't care about', that's about number one. Are those girls out there (referring to the 300 pounder who is about to devour a smaller girl) with you?"
Girl- "Yeah, they're here with me."
Me- "You might want to make them stop dancing. I think it's making the big one hungry, and cannibalism is still illegal in North Carolina."
It took me until this morning to realize that she sat with us for the rest of the night. She didn't really say anything, or do anything, but she sat there.
4 pitchers later, Jordan, EMcNasty and I are hammered, and the lights come up. Somewhere along the way, Jordan got started on the Olympics. Highlights:
"Hey, hey. Have you seen this? Have you seen this in the 'Lympics? They gots skiing, with guns. Skiing with f-ing guns. Crazy man"
"You know what would be cool? Is if they had swimming in the Olympics. That shit would be cold."
"Hey look (pointing at a random bike race on ESPN) It's the Tour De French."
That first comment got our Chief a drunk dial, as it was too funny not to share. After the lights come up, making me fairly angry, we decide to head to TimeOut to help the sobering process. TimeOut twice in one week is a bad idea. Trust me.
A chicken biscuit and a huge Dr. Pepper later, I'm having trouble unlocking the door to get out of the bathroom. I finally manage it on my 5th or 6th try, and the Chapel Hill Police officer on the other side of the door asks if I'm okay. I nod, and head back to my table so that we can continue ripping on the douchebag who's wearing a Ferari jacket.
I walk home with EMcNasty, since she lives close by, and I need another 30 minutes before I can drive. I feel bad when I knock her down (accidentally) on the sidewalk while trying to prevent her from screaming (literally screaming) at Jordan across the main intersection. She cuts her hand, but it was at most half my fault.
I crawl into my bed an hour later, and realize that it's after 4 in the morning, and I am an idiot.
But idiots have a lot of fun.
A 20 minute caravan later, we arrive at Emergency Management, and head inside to the training room. SuperJew, my boss/mentor/really cool guy is here tonight, and he gives a quick talk about the monitor, basically letting them see some of the cool toys we get to play with. At one point he mentions that he just got back from a conference for medical directors and emergency managers called "Gathering of the Eagles". EMcNasty (formerly known as E) gains ultimate cool points by asking if it was "Gathering of the Bald Eagles". She doesn't say it loudly enough for SuperJew to hear it, so I have to repeat it loudly. This is a good moment.
The mole queen comes upstairs to talk about telecommunications. She's the mole queen because she's in charge of the mole people, the telecommunicators who work downstairs answering 911 calls and dispatching units, and only rarely see the light of day. She tells the class about all the things they do, and we head downstairs to the communications center.
30 minutes later, after looking at a lot of equipment, and hearing some radio traffic, we're done, and back on the road. We head back to the B-School parking lot, where it doesn't take us long to decide that there's some drinking to be done tonight.
Several of us agree to meet at TopO in about 30 minutes, as several of the ladies, plus Jordan, have to change before we go out. I head to Burger King, because I'm hungry, and not interested in paying $12 for some food at TopO. Jordan changes his shirt and meets me there, and we enjoy some greasy pre-beer food.
We drive up to the Church St. lot, and after parking, head in to TopO. It's now 10pm, and I realize that if I want to avoid being a slobbering mess by midnight, I need to not start drinking now. I order a water, and sit down with Jordan, EMcNasty, and GIKD, who needs a better name than that, since we haven't been out since she got that moniker. It'll work for now though.
They make it through rounds one and two, and we're having a good night. I'm goaded into telling an embarassing story or two, but there's embarassment enough to go around on this night. After we're joined by Pepper, another girl from the class, I decide that 11pm is late enough for me to start drinking, and I go pay $4 for a beer that tastes a helluva lot like Bud Light, but supposedly isn't.
*Edit* I caught flack from Pepper because I left her out of the story. Not true if you read the above paragraph, but here's another mention for you. She came in with a friend named Kenan. That's about all I got. Most of the time she was there was spent doing the things listed in the next paragraph. Sorry Pep, but you're likely to make many, many, more stories if my plans hold up.
GIKD decides she wants a cigarette, and offers me one, but I'm nowhere near drunk enough for that. I do agree to go sit with her while she indulges though. When she's done and we make it back inside, everyone pretty much agrees that we're done with overpriced drinks, and we gather ourselves for a jaunt to another bar.
We make our way to Yeats, and once inside, immediately realize that we've made a terrible mistake.
It's apparently been taken over by pirates for the evening. There's a mixer going on inside, and we just don't belong. Undaunted though, we head to the bar for a round. On the way there I turn to Jordan, because there's something bothering me.
Me- "When did all the sorority girls here turn into fat, ugly, cows?"
J- "I don't know man. What's going on?"
Me- "I think this is an event for Fattie Alpha Tau. Aren't they a sorority?"
J- "Yeah man, that's even a greek letter. Fattie. Haha."
Jordan thinks I'm funny when he's drunk.
Officially stuck in the middle of Greek hell, we decide to numb the pain with pitchers. I buy the first one, and we manage to snag a table almost instantly when some of the fatties (I swear one even had a real peg-leg) waddle to the dance floor to rub against one another in some kind of repressed lesbian fantasy, while the guys around the bar try to block out the image so we can still enjoy girl-on-girl internet porn.
We're halfway through the first pitcher when GIKD gets a call from other friend's who are celebrating a birthday, and leaves us for Bub's. I am incredibly okay with this. My "fuck it all" attitude is working out great.
GIKD is replaced at our table by another girl from the class, who's generally nice, but makes me kind of mad when her first comment of the night is:
Girl- "Ya'll aren't supposed to be here..." (she says this quietly, like she's letting me in on a secret.)
Me- "Why's that?"
Girl- "Because you're not Chi-Psi! This is a mixer for Chi-Psi's and Pi-Phi's!"
Me- "On the list of 'Shit I don't care about', that's about number one. Are those girls out there (referring to the 300 pounder who is about to devour a smaller girl) with you?"
Girl- "Yeah, they're here with me."
Me- "You might want to make them stop dancing. I think it's making the big one hungry, and cannibalism is still illegal in North Carolina."
It took me until this morning to realize that she sat with us for the rest of the night. She didn't really say anything, or do anything, but she sat there.
4 pitchers later, Jordan, EMcNasty and I are hammered, and the lights come up. Somewhere along the way, Jordan got started on the Olympics. Highlights:
"Hey, hey. Have you seen this? Have you seen this in the 'Lympics? They gots skiing, with guns. Skiing with f-ing guns. Crazy man"
"You know what would be cool? Is if they had swimming in the Olympics. That shit would be cold."
"Hey look (pointing at a random bike race on ESPN) It's the Tour De French."
That first comment got our Chief a drunk dial, as it was too funny not to share. After the lights come up, making me fairly angry, we decide to head to TimeOut to help the sobering process. TimeOut twice in one week is a bad idea. Trust me.
A chicken biscuit and a huge Dr. Pepper later, I'm having trouble unlocking the door to get out of the bathroom. I finally manage it on my 5th or 6th try, and the Chapel Hill Police officer on the other side of the door asks if I'm okay. I nod, and head back to my table so that we can continue ripping on the douchebag who's wearing a Ferari jacket.
I walk home with EMcNasty, since she lives close by, and I need another 30 minutes before I can drive. I feel bad when I knock her down (accidentally) on the sidewalk while trying to prevent her from screaming (literally screaming) at Jordan across the main intersection. She cuts her hand, but it was at most half my fault.
I crawl into my bed an hour later, and realize that it's after 4 in the morning, and I am an idiot.
But idiots have a lot of fun.
posted by C at 3:34 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home