I'm a Bad Influence
Out tonight.
Started out trying to get Chinese food with Jordan, because I was straight-up craving some pot stickers, but the chinese restaraunt on Jones Ferry closes at like 9pm. Bastards.
After my grease fix fell through, we went into Food Kitty and got some cheap beer, then he went over to Yeates' while I went to E's house to pick her up. (You didn't miss anything, E's new.) We sat and watched the Olympics for a bit, before E called GIKD (Who she's also friends with) and talked her into coming out. She also told GIKD to come over to her house without mentioning that I was there. In my neurotic mind, I really believe that GIKD would've refused had she known, but I'm just like that.
So GIKD arrives, and after an awkward moment or two, we're off to the first party of the night. It's being thrown by a guy in the class I'm teaching, and Jordan and Puddinhead are supposed to meet us there. GIKD follows me over there, and E rides with me. We arrive at the apartment complex where this party is, but the buildings are seemingly unmarked. After wandering around in the cold for about 15 minutes, we finally find the "party".
We walk in, and E turns to me and goes "Can we leave?"
The guy throwing the party is a really nice guy, and I'm sure it was a great party if you actually knew someone there, but as pimped out as I felt walking in with 2 very attractive girls, it wasn't working for me either. We found ourselves a corner, monopolized some of the only chairs in the place, and basically kept to ourselves for about 20 minutes while people we didn't know played Beer Pong and made drinks in the kitchen. Somewhere in there, Puddinhead arrived, and seemed like he was ready to really throw down. I promised myself to treat the guy to a better time than this though. He'd had a rough week.
After about 20 minutes, GIKD made her excuses and bounced. She'd worked all day, but some part of me still saw this as the final note in the sad little song we've been almost playing. The simple fact is folks, I'm not willing to work all that hard. Either you're interested, or you're not. I don't chase.
Anyway, not long after this, Jordan calls, and tells us he's wandering around in the parking lot, and can't find us. E gives me the high sign, and I tell him to just wait outside for us. We try to slip out quietly, but got kinda cornered by the host, and said something about going to find Jordan (true) and maybe meeting up later at a bar (Could've been true).
We run outside, giggling a little bit because E carried out the same case of beer we carried in with us (Oh we're classy) and proceed to look for Jordan. We make it all the way back to my truck without spotting him, but don't really care. I jump inside and start the heater before calling him. Did I mention it was cold outside? He heads back over to us, and we discuss our plans.
Jordan suggests another party that he knows of, and E suggests the bar scene. I take care of my man, and remind her that Puddinhead is not "of age" and doesn't have a plastic card saying otherwise either. Tangent- If I had the equipment, I'd sell some serious fake IDs at UNC, and make a ton of cash. Any venture-capitalists out there? It is eventually decided that we will meander back to E's house, drink there for a while, and then head to this other party.
We make it back to the crib, (She has a moat around her house. No lie) and watch some quality Olympic coverage. I make fun of Apolo Anton Ohno's facial hair, and E doesn't appreciate it because she's a fan. I take this as a sign, and proceed to make fun of anyone who goes by 3 names. She suggests that it's something like Sarah Jessica Parker's (PS, hate her too) situation, where there was another famous woman named Sarah Parker. I dare E to find me one other Apolo Ohno. She takes my point.
Shortly thereafter, Jordan announces he "needs some bread or something" as he had a couple of beverages at Yeates' when he stopped in to say hello to friends, and is now feeling a little lightheaded. It is quickly decided that a trip to Time Out is in order. E squeals with delight. She's a fan of Time Out.
Let me caution you against ever eating at Time Out while sober. It's not a good experience at all. However, when you've had a few beverages of the alcoholic variety, there are very few things as nice as a chicken biscuit that a nice hispanic man wraps in aluminum foil for you. Jordan looks steadier after some Okra and Mac n' cheese, and we're joined by his little sister, whose company I really enjoy. E asked me tonight why I hadn't tried to hook up with her, and I was kinda taken aback. I mean, you just don't hook up with your friend's sister. That's required for being a halfway decent person. Additionally, Jordan is smart enough to just tell his sister what kind of person I really am. She'd have nothing to do with me.
We leave from Time Out, and head to the next party. I'm assaulted at the door by a large black man with the biggest mouth I've ever seen, and a very pronounced lisp. He spent most of the night proclaiming "Ashley Something-or-other is a ho! She got a dick in her mouf!" But did take a break for 2 minutes to introduce himself to all of us. Turns out he's a politician, and just won some campus office. I'd vote for him.
We head inside the party, and while not great, it does outstrip the last one by a good bit. There are women here, and actual music playing. Our little crew heads for the beer pong table, and watches a couple of matches before Jordan and E get destroyed, followed closely by Puddinhead and me. I'm a miserable failure.
At 2am we finally realize that we're out well past when we should've gone home, and make our way back to our cars. Along this path, we decide we're not really done in, and are all craving a burrito. Qdoba it is!
We walk into Qdoba, which was apparently named the official afterparty location for every frat and sorority on campus when I wasn't looking, and I'm immediately assualted with a hug from someone who smells more like beer than I do. My partner, SweetCheeks is here, along with Cancro, and a couple of the cute girls from Lucy's last week.(See: 80's music and me) Hugs are shared, introductions are made, and burritos are ordered. SweetCheeks thinks it is the funniest thing ever when I tell the girl to make my burrito however she wants, as long as it tastes good. He proceeds to tell her to make it as spicy as possible, but she thinks I'm cuter than he is, and doesn't listen. I warn him to stay off the sneeze-guard when I see the Chapel Hill police officer eyeing us.
We get our burritos, sit down, and immediately become "That Table". Loud, obnoxious, and incredibly fun to be a part of. SweetCheeks gives E an impromptu lesson on the geography of Orange County, Cancro flirts with any attractive woman he doesn't know, and I throw things at Jordan and remind Puddinhead that he has to be at work in 3 and a half hours. Eventually one of the other incredibly attractive girls (She might have the prettiest smile of all time) from the class arrives, and sits and talks with me for a while. I enjoy trying to flirt, but knowing that it's a futile effort puts a slight damper on my usually charming (not to mention modest) persona. She's older and wiser than me, and that eliminates me from romantic contention. At least I think so anyway.
We call it an evening after SweetCheeks finishes everyone's food, and head home. Puddinhead starts work at 6am, and I dropped him off at the door to his dorm at 2:56am. Before tonight, I don't know if the guy had ever had a serious night of out on the town ridiculousness. While we were sitting at the table, he literally mumbled to himself "Just eat the burrito [Puddinhead]"
That is why I'm a bad influence, and it's also why I'm proud of myself.
Goodnight (morning)
Started out trying to get Chinese food with Jordan, because I was straight-up craving some pot stickers, but the chinese restaraunt on Jones Ferry closes at like 9pm. Bastards.
After my grease fix fell through, we went into Food Kitty and got some cheap beer, then he went over to Yeates' while I went to E's house to pick her up. (You didn't miss anything, E's new.) We sat and watched the Olympics for a bit, before E called GIKD (Who she's also friends with) and talked her into coming out. She also told GIKD to come over to her house without mentioning that I was there. In my neurotic mind, I really believe that GIKD would've refused had she known, but I'm just like that.
So GIKD arrives, and after an awkward moment or two, we're off to the first party of the night. It's being thrown by a guy in the class I'm teaching, and Jordan and Puddinhead are supposed to meet us there. GIKD follows me over there, and E rides with me. We arrive at the apartment complex where this party is, but the buildings are seemingly unmarked. After wandering around in the cold for about 15 minutes, we finally find the "party".
We walk in, and E turns to me and goes "Can we leave?"
The guy throwing the party is a really nice guy, and I'm sure it was a great party if you actually knew someone there, but as pimped out as I felt walking in with 2 very attractive girls, it wasn't working for me either. We found ourselves a corner, monopolized some of the only chairs in the place, and basically kept to ourselves for about 20 minutes while people we didn't know played Beer Pong and made drinks in the kitchen. Somewhere in there, Puddinhead arrived, and seemed like he was ready to really throw down. I promised myself to treat the guy to a better time than this though. He'd had a rough week.
After about 20 minutes, GIKD made her excuses and bounced. She'd worked all day, but some part of me still saw this as the final note in the sad little song we've been almost playing. The simple fact is folks, I'm not willing to work all that hard. Either you're interested, or you're not. I don't chase.
Anyway, not long after this, Jordan calls, and tells us he's wandering around in the parking lot, and can't find us. E gives me the high sign, and I tell him to just wait outside for us. We try to slip out quietly, but got kinda cornered by the host, and said something about going to find Jordan (true) and maybe meeting up later at a bar (Could've been true).
We run outside, giggling a little bit because E carried out the same case of beer we carried in with us (Oh we're classy) and proceed to look for Jordan. We make it all the way back to my truck without spotting him, but don't really care. I jump inside and start the heater before calling him. Did I mention it was cold outside? He heads back over to us, and we discuss our plans.
Jordan suggests another party that he knows of, and E suggests the bar scene. I take care of my man, and remind her that Puddinhead is not "of age" and doesn't have a plastic card saying otherwise either. Tangent- If I had the equipment, I'd sell some serious fake IDs at UNC, and make a ton of cash. Any venture-capitalists out there? It is eventually decided that we will meander back to E's house, drink there for a while, and then head to this other party.
We make it back to the crib, (She has a moat around her house. No lie) and watch some quality Olympic coverage. I make fun of Apolo Anton Ohno's facial hair, and E doesn't appreciate it because she's a fan. I take this as a sign, and proceed to make fun of anyone who goes by 3 names. She suggests that it's something like Sarah Jessica Parker's (PS, hate her too) situation, where there was another famous woman named Sarah Parker. I dare E to find me one other Apolo Ohno. She takes my point.
Shortly thereafter, Jordan announces he "needs some bread or something" as he had a couple of beverages at Yeates' when he stopped in to say hello to friends, and is now feeling a little lightheaded. It is quickly decided that a trip to Time Out is in order. E squeals with delight. She's a fan of Time Out.
Let me caution you against ever eating at Time Out while sober. It's not a good experience at all. However, when you've had a few beverages of the alcoholic variety, there are very few things as nice as a chicken biscuit that a nice hispanic man wraps in aluminum foil for you. Jordan looks steadier after some Okra and Mac n' cheese, and we're joined by his little sister, whose company I really enjoy. E asked me tonight why I hadn't tried to hook up with her, and I was kinda taken aback. I mean, you just don't hook up with your friend's sister. That's required for being a halfway decent person. Additionally, Jordan is smart enough to just tell his sister what kind of person I really am. She'd have nothing to do with me.
We leave from Time Out, and head to the next party. I'm assaulted at the door by a large black man with the biggest mouth I've ever seen, and a very pronounced lisp. He spent most of the night proclaiming "Ashley Something-or-other is a ho! She got a dick in her mouf!" But did take a break for 2 minutes to introduce himself to all of us. Turns out he's a politician, and just won some campus office. I'd vote for him.
We head inside the party, and while not great, it does outstrip the last one by a good bit. There are women here, and actual music playing. Our little crew heads for the beer pong table, and watches a couple of matches before Jordan and E get destroyed, followed closely by Puddinhead and me. I'm a miserable failure.
At 2am we finally realize that we're out well past when we should've gone home, and make our way back to our cars. Along this path, we decide we're not really done in, and are all craving a burrito. Qdoba it is!
We walk into Qdoba, which was apparently named the official afterparty location for every frat and sorority on campus when I wasn't looking, and I'm immediately assualted with a hug from someone who smells more like beer than I do. My partner, SweetCheeks is here, along with Cancro, and a couple of the cute girls from Lucy's last week.(See: 80's music and me) Hugs are shared, introductions are made, and burritos are ordered. SweetCheeks thinks it is the funniest thing ever when I tell the girl to make my burrito however she wants, as long as it tastes good. He proceeds to tell her to make it as spicy as possible, but she thinks I'm cuter than he is, and doesn't listen. I warn him to stay off the sneeze-guard when I see the Chapel Hill police officer eyeing us.
We get our burritos, sit down, and immediately become "That Table". Loud, obnoxious, and incredibly fun to be a part of. SweetCheeks gives E an impromptu lesson on the geography of Orange County, Cancro flirts with any attractive woman he doesn't know, and I throw things at Jordan and remind Puddinhead that he has to be at work in 3 and a half hours. Eventually one of the other incredibly attractive girls (She might have the prettiest smile of all time) from the class arrives, and sits and talks with me for a while. I enjoy trying to flirt, but knowing that it's a futile effort puts a slight damper on my usually charming (not to mention modest) persona. She's older and wiser than me, and that eliminates me from romantic contention. At least I think so anyway.
We call it an evening after SweetCheeks finishes everyone's food, and head home. Puddinhead starts work at 6am, and I dropped him off at the door to his dorm at 2:56am. Before tonight, I don't know if the guy had ever had a serious night of out on the town ridiculousness. While we were sitting at the table, he literally mumbled to himself "Just eat the burrito [Puddinhead]"
That is why I'm a bad influence, and it's also why I'm proud of myself.
Goodnight (morning)
posted by C at 3:45 AM
1 Comments:
good read - even tho I don't know you, you sound like a person to be around when you want to party a little.
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